and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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