Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
