oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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