Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
