Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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