Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
3pm strippers are depressing
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
