Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
