Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
