yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
zippers are such a cool invention
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
