I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
