hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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