Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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