dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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