I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
