i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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