well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
