Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
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Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
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