Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Randomize
