Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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