His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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