I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
