I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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