he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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