I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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