remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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