All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize