yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
