You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize