this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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