I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
