to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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