You really coming over, don't trick.
My hand turned me down
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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