I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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