I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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