I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
