Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
