Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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