My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
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Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
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I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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