I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
