I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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