I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
