he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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