i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize
