I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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