Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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