i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
