every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
