How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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