im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
