yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
