the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
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It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
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I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
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