so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
