The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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