I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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