david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
