you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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